I had a conversation with someone a few weeks ago about the anger they held toward a parent for something that was done in the past.
Here was my response...
"This may or may not annoy you - but let it soak in and just hear me out.
There comes a time where we have to become the ruler and creator of our own lives and break away from the stories that keep us hostage to our past.
It’s your choice. To stay in it or leave in behind.
Each time you speak of it, whether to your friends, family, or even your therapist, begin to allow yourself to let go of those old stories.
Little by little, let go of the attachments to them. Such as you’re owed an apology or an explanation. Because the truth is - you’re not. You're not owed anything in this life. Ouch. I know. It may feel good but it's not necessary for healing to take place. Nor is forgiveness.
Let go of the expectation you have around needing something before you can move on. All you need is you. You don’t need permission. The permission lies within you.
You are the creator of you current reality. This is where you are now. In the present moment. Own your power and move mountains.
And even though it may seem completely contradictory right now, forgive yourself and your past.
Then express gratitude. For you are who you because of your past.
Your passion, kindness, compassion and your gifts have been awakened because of your experiences.
This doesn’t mean what happened to you was ok, but it has happened, and now it’s about it becoming your magic and not your oppressor."